How to Forgive a Mother After She Has Passed

Edited byLynn Moore and 8 others

Resentment. Such a poisonous way to live. Especially if you resent the behavior of someone who has passed and therefore absolutely nothing can be done about it. They are gone and cannot come back to do things differently. Mothers do tend to bear the brunt of blame when their offspring is not happy with his or her own life. It is so much easier to blame a parent than take ownership of your own stuff. If you are such an offspring and hold resentment for your deceased mother, it is recommended that you take back your power using the following steps to forgive her.

Edit Steps

1. 1
   Write down in detail exactly what it is that you resent about your mother. We have to name it to claim it. We can't just keep saying "I resent my mother", or "I hate my mother", or "it's all my mother's fault". We can't be vague, or speak in generalities. Once you have named a specific type of behavior, or even one specific event of your mother's, we now have something to work with.
2. Write out in detail how it made you feel when your mother did what you resent. Remember to include how old you were, or if it is a repeated behavior, how old you were when it first started. Be very clear and truthful. Cry, or be angry if your emotions tell you to.
3. 3
   Read what you have written to a picture of your mother. If you don't have one then you have her image in your mind and just imagine her in front of you.
4. 4
   Change your footwear. By this, it means to put yourself in your mother's shoes. At least in your brain. Usually, we know at least some of our mother's history growing up and during her adulthood before you were born. Remember all you can and in each of the different scenes that you recall, imagine how she felt and how and why she responded as she did in those moments. What kind of belief systems do you think she was taught by others and her personal experiences in her life? What were her parents like?
5. 5
   Recall especially that she lived a generation before you. We tend to forget that our parents were raised during a time when they did not have the knowledge or the items that are so easily available to us today.
6. 6
   Stand or sit where your mother did during the episode or one of the episodes she hurt you and look at yourself as she did. What do you think was going through her mind or her emotions?
7. 7
   Visualize yourself as a five year old child walking through a meadow and hearing other young children laughing and playing. As you draw closer to these children you recognize one. She is your mother and she is also five years old. She reaches out and takes your hand and draws you into the group of children to play with them too.
8. 8
   Feel what it is like to realize that your mother was once a young child just as you were, a teenager just as you were, suffered the heartache and the joys of life just as you have. She was just a fallible human being just as you are. She had no manual on how to raise children, she simply did the best she knew how at the time. She was not perfect, none of us are.
9. 9
   Write a letter to your mother.

COMMENTS

As we grew older some of us may think that their responsibilities and priority to serve their parents become lesser.Every religion in this world commands their followers to become a dedicated person to their parents whether by praying for their parents,listen to their lectures or support their living.But what if our parents have passed away?Do we have to still pray for them.The answer is yes but nevertheless for some other people they still have this grudge with their parents .The feeling of anger,stress in life and hateful canes  for the past voluntarily acts makes the grudge becomes more thicker.Based on the article above it provides 9 steps to forgive your mother/father after they had passed way. 

For the first step it stated that "what is that you resent about your mother". That is a briliant way for you to see the problem in a wide scope. Sometimes by listing down your problem it works as a therapy to your own feelings and sometimes makes you to especially forgive and forget and try to take that as a challenges that requires you to become more patient person in this life.

Looking to the fourth steps it says that "change your footwear". Sometimes we do know what is the reason behinds our parents actions that we feel unappropiate but try to close your eyes and start thinking what if you are the one in their shoes.Would you let your children drive a car wiyhout license?Do you let you children to skip school and go to the cybercafe? or let your son become the number one gangster in the school? that is the reason for their action to us.They are not making us as the number one victim but to educate and trains us to become a peson who are well responsible and have a positive attitude.

Also stated in the article "realize that your mother was once a young children that suffer the joy and sadness ". No one is perfect in this life.Each person in this life must be given oppurtunities to be forgiven.

In conclusion,always remmember what your parents had sacrifice for you and the pain they felt for raising us. Be thankful to God for the amazing parents that He rewards us and always prays for thier best life in the world abd the world hereafter. No one in the world will ever treat us the same way our parents did the feeling of love and the pity to us. Do forgive them for their unintended faults and love them always.